Am I asking too much?

I was dating this wonderful woman for about 7 months, and in the beginning like in the book of Gensis, it was good. First two months we got to know each other, next three we got to grow with each other, but then the growing stopped. Arguments were common place, and endless. We just argued endlessly and tirelessly. We broke up in July, and tonight we had a long talk after a few weeks of not talking. Here's what we concluded on:
My thing was that I felt she was overly cold. In various instances I felt like she pushed me away. We traveled to Europe together, and the whole way there and back (which was over 32 hours) she hardly spoke a word to me, or really hung out. We went to visit her sister, who she hadn't seen in like a year, and while I understood that she missed her sister, she never hung out with me over there. I kept trying to get her to have a picnic with me by the ocean, or go for a walk, but she never wanted to. I pretty much hung out by myself, with people I met, or with her and her sister. While I understood that fact that we were visiting her sis, I just wanted some time with her. I mean after Europe her sister was coming back with us for good to the states.. What's a few hours away from her to spend time with her man in a foreign country?
I could go on for various instances when she was cold. My birthday for example. We do live in seperate towns, about 45 mins away. She did come down for a bbq for my birthday, but she didn't bring anything which I was okay with. I mean it would have been nice to get a bday card, a mixed cd, some food, anything, but I understood she was kinda of broke too. So I appreciated the fact that she spent the gas. Hell, I bought her something and gave it to her as a gift on my birthday, but love is love you know?
Well she hangs out till about 10:30 pm and says she has an early day and leaves, which I was cool with. Well, not only did she just sleep in the next day, but ditched or left early, or her class ended early, and she went out and partied all night with her friends till two in the morning. I mean even at my birthday she never even fixed me a plate or anything. She just ate her own food, asked me to make her more, and even tried to dominate the music.
My issue with her became that I just wanted to spend time with her. I just wanted her to let me love her. To let me do romantic things for her, to have her just stop being so cold all the time and treat me like she loved me or something. Like she wanted me around. I mean, do you know how much of a blow it is to my ego to ask someone to allow me to love them?
Her response was that she didn't feel that same way. She felt like she gave me everything she could give, and that I was the one who wasn't satisifed. She said I always had a 'but this' or a 'but that'. I couldn't be satisfied with what she did give, and that love should be like the movies. One person will always give more than the other. That true love is that person that tries endlessly until the other person finally gives in and loves them like that as well.
Is that how it truly is? If I truly loved this girl, would I keep trying even though she continously pushes me away? There were times where I needed her, like when we tried to go floating down a river, and someone broke into her car and stole my iphone, and my keys to my car. I ended up having to pay over $200 to get my car rekeyed and re-alarmed, and I was car-less the whole weekend. When I asked her the next day if she could come down and hang out with me, cos I was bummed, she said 'no' cos she was going to go out with her sister and freinds to a club. Anytime we hung out it was either with her friends and family.
To me that just seems too much. I think love is a relationship where both people continously grow with each other. Were both people step up to the plate, when the proverbial sh*t hits the fan. I now understand that she wants someone who will love her uncondtionally, and be there no matter what. Someone that will give her everything she wants, without asking for anything in return. Through the good and the bad the person will be there. I do understand that. I just don't know if it's too much to ask to at least ask for some affection back. To ask someone to be there for you when your down and out. To ask someone for some of their time to be there.
I told her I just wanted her to let me love her, and her response was "that's all I wanted too". But how can I if she doesn't let me. Or am I asking too much?
By Pointtaken 12 years ago :: Dating
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