Is it okay that I resent this wedding?
My former roommate is getting married in a few weeks. When she first asked me to be a bridesmaid, I initially said I couldn't due to finances. She was very upset and said she just might not have a wedding because too many of the wedding party couldn't do it. I reorganized my budget, talked with my then-fiance, and told my friend I would do it and support her because I love her.
It is now 8 months later, I just got married myself (no ceremony, very small reception), and my husband and I are hoping to move out of my parents' garage and into our own apartment. The bridesmaid dress was much more expensive than I had imagined, because my body type is vastly different from the other bridesmaids, so I needed to buy another piece tfor the ensemble and spend a lot to have the dress altered to fit. So far I've spent $400+ on the dress and shoes, and I still have another fitting (might cost more).
The wedding itself is out of town, and we've been asked to stay at the reception hotel for two days at $100+ per night. Add in gas and food for the weekend and my new husband and I will be spending over $600 on my friend's wedding. That is more than half the budget for my own wedding. The bride's father is presumably funding her 200+ guest wedding, while I had to pay for mine.
Am I wrong to feel like I'm spending too much on this? I already gave the bride a shower gift; do I need to buy a wedding gift also? Should my friend understand the financial burdens she has put on me? Was it my responsibility to forsee these problems and stick to my original decision not to be a bridesmaid? Is there anything I can do at this point?
It is now 8 months later, I just got married myself (no ceremony, very small reception), and my husband and I are hoping to move out of my parents' garage and into our own apartment. The bridesmaid dress was much more expensive than I had imagined, because my body type is vastly different from the other bridesmaids, so I needed to buy another piece tfor the ensemble and spend a lot to have the dress altered to fit. So far I've spent $400+ on the dress and shoes, and I still have another fitting (might cost more).
The wedding itself is out of town, and we've been asked to stay at the reception hotel for two days at $100+ per night. Add in gas and food for the weekend and my new husband and I will be spending over $600 on my friend's wedding. That is more than half the budget for my own wedding. The bride's father is presumably funding her 200+ guest wedding, while I had to pay for mine.
Am I wrong to feel like I'm spending too much on this? I already gave the bride a shower gift; do I need to buy a wedding gift also? Should my friend understand the financial burdens she has put on me? Was it my responsibility to forsee these problems and stick to my original decision not to be a bridesmaid? Is there anything I can do at this point?
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