Is there ever a time you stop loving or supporting your child?

My husband and I adopted a very messed up teenage boy. he came to live with us when he was 15 and was adopted when he was 17. he will be 19 next week. He is a very difficult kid who has made and continues to make lots of mistakes. He lies all the time, he's been involved in drugs and most recently took off for the last six months with his gf. he has finally decided to come home. he knows he needs to get a job and go to college. his goal is to join the marines. I'm sure he is not done making mistakes but i believe it is our duty to hang in there and guide him through his problems. It's not in the adoption paperwork, but i'm pretty sure we are supposed to love him and support just we would our other kids. My husband hates him. He can't stand that fact that i would even want to continue speaking to him after everything he has done wrong. he won't give the kid another chance. he wont even speak to him. it makes life very uncomfortable for me. it's not that big of a house! I feel like i am stuck in the middle of the two of them all the time. I've asked them to go to counseling, my son agreed, my husband refuses. Now my husband is telling me that our marriage will not survive if i can't talk to him, but when i try to talk to him about our son i get to listen to him bitch about what a screwed up stupid kid he is and tell me he doesn't care about him or his problems. why would i keep doing that to myself?