My Boyfriend's Irrational Behaviour Is Nuts!
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Side 2
Side 2
Side 1 says...
My boyfriend has been acting like a massive jerk recently. There, I said it! Normally I tiptoe around this, try and find out whats wrong, and do my best to help him feel better, but recently he's just been treating me like dirt, and I'm sick of his behaviour.
I love him, but I don't know whats wrong in his life to make him act this way towards me all the time. I don't want to break up with him, we've been together for a long time and I'd like to keep it that way. But he's getting worse, and I want him to stop.
The most recent example is this (sorry for the detail, I just want to give a really clear picture):
Yesterday was my turn to pick up something for dinner, so I grabbed a rotisserie chicken from the shops, and brought it home and cooked some roast potatoes, pumpkin and green beans to go with it.
While I was waiting for the veg to cook I cleaned up the kitchen and tidied the dining room (where all the junk mail tends to pile up!). I was in no way acting strangely, just puttering about doing the normal things.
About 15 mins before dinner was going to be ready I called out a heads up because my boyfriend usually takes that long to finish up what he's doing on the computer before dinnertime. We usually eat together, but for a casual meal like that we just eat on the couch watching something together. Anyway, so I served dinner, and called again, then took mine into the living room to put on something to watch.
After 10 mins or so not hearing anything, and waiting to turn the show on, I went into the study to see what was up. He got really angry at me for "yelling at him so rudely" (the calling from the other room about dinner) and "interrupting him" (going into the computer room) both of which have never been a problem before. He got really huffy with me and stormed off to the kitchen. I was like "uh.. ok" and went back to the lounge.
Next thing I knew I hear a crash from the kitchen, and I go in to see he's thrown his dinner against the wall and dumped the remaining 1/2 chicken into the garbage bin. He starts yelling at me for making food that I "should know he hates" (he had chicken yesterday for lunch, so not sure whats going on there!) and for "trying to make him feel guilty" by cleaning up. While I was there he dumped the rest of the vegetables into the bin (spilling half on the floor) and then threw the baking tin they were in onto the ground too.
By then I was standing there going "so you just THREW the dinner I made against the wall? WHY?" and he got even angrier, started banging things around in the kitchen and eventually told me to "f--- off" and stormed out of the house, and didn't come back for 45 mins.
During that time I cleaned up the kitchen again, threw out all the ruined food he'd left all over the floor, and had enough time to get good and worried about him.
He came back later and played it down, said he hadn't been angry, he'd just felt like going for a walk. He acted like I was crazy for thinking he was angry, and said I was overreacting. He also said he had tripped and spilt the dinner, not thrown it (clear across the room), and that the chicken sitting out had flies on it, and that's why he had to throw it out. Through the cling-wrap apparently.
So WTF. I don't really understand why he was angry in the first place, and I don't understand why he lied about it all afterwards. I was there the first time, I'm not going to magically forget being yelled at. He now refuses to talk about it, apologise, or even acknowledge it. I just want an explanation, and to be treated with the love and respect I deserve. I don't want to be treated like the enemy for completely unknown reasons.
I love him, but I don't know whats wrong in his life to make him act this way towards me all the time. I don't want to break up with him, we've been together for a long time and I'd like to keep it that way. But he's getting worse, and I want him to stop.
The most recent example is this (sorry for the detail, I just want to give a really clear picture):
Yesterday was my turn to pick up something for dinner, so I grabbed a rotisserie chicken from the shops, and brought it home and cooked some roast potatoes, pumpkin and green beans to go with it.
While I was waiting for the veg to cook I cleaned up the kitchen and tidied the dining room (where all the junk mail tends to pile up!). I was in no way acting strangely, just puttering about doing the normal things.
About 15 mins before dinner was going to be ready I called out a heads up because my boyfriend usually takes that long to finish up what he's doing on the computer before dinnertime. We usually eat together, but for a casual meal like that we just eat on the couch watching something together. Anyway, so I served dinner, and called again, then took mine into the living room to put on something to watch.
After 10 mins or so not hearing anything, and waiting to turn the show on, I went into the study to see what was up. He got really angry at me for "yelling at him so rudely" (the calling from the other room about dinner) and "interrupting him" (going into the computer room) both of which have never been a problem before. He got really huffy with me and stormed off to the kitchen. I was like "uh.. ok" and went back to the lounge.
Next thing I knew I hear a crash from the kitchen, and I go in to see he's thrown his dinner against the wall and dumped the remaining 1/2 chicken into the garbage bin. He starts yelling at me for making food that I "should know he hates" (he had chicken yesterday for lunch, so not sure whats going on there!) and for "trying to make him feel guilty" by cleaning up. While I was there he dumped the rest of the vegetables into the bin (spilling half on the floor) and then threw the baking tin they were in onto the ground too.
By then I was standing there going "so you just THREW the dinner I made against the wall? WHY?" and he got even angrier, started banging things around in the kitchen and eventually told me to "f--- off" and stormed out of the house, and didn't come back for 45 mins.
During that time I cleaned up the kitchen again, threw out all the ruined food he'd left all over the floor, and had enough time to get good and worried about him.
He came back later and played it down, said he hadn't been angry, he'd just felt like going for a walk. He acted like I was crazy for thinking he was angry, and said I was overreacting. He also said he had tripped and spilt the dinner, not thrown it (clear across the room), and that the chicken sitting out had flies on it, and that's why he had to throw it out. Through the cling-wrap apparently.
So WTF. I don't really understand why he was angry in the first place, and I don't understand why he lied about it all afterwards. I was there the first time, I'm not going to magically forget being yelled at. He now refuses to talk about it, apologise, or even acknowledge it. I just want an explanation, and to be treated with the love and respect I deserve. I don't want to be treated like the enemy for completely unknown reasons.
Added by ProbablyPushy (female)
Side 2 says...
My girlfriend is always on my case about something. Sometimes a guy just wants to come home, kick back, and not have to deal with all this stupid stuff. She knew I didn't feel like making dinner that night and would have been happy with just take away or something. But nooo, she goes and makes something elaborate and she ALWAYS leaves stuff in the sink that we have to clean up after she cooks. Sometimes I just don't want to eat anything except cereal or something, but then I feel obliged to clean up this huge mess after SHE cooks.
And then she cleans the place when she knows I just want to relax, and makes me feel like a jerk for not helping. She gets all sighy and offended and stuff, and I can tell shes acting the martyr even from the other room!
So she keeps calling me for dinner I didn't really want, and I was busy, so I wasn't in the best of moods, but then I trip and spill my dinner.. and she goes nuts! Anyway, I was planning on going for a walk before then, so I decided to then because she just wouldn't get off my case, and she took that even worse apparently.
If we're going to fight, isn't it better for me to just walk away until we're both calmed down again? Because thats what I think. And shes just overreacting about the 'yelling' and 'slamming' she says happened. I was just in a bad mood after spilling my dinner.
And then she cleans the place when she knows I just want to relax, and makes me feel like a jerk for not helping. She gets all sighy and offended and stuff, and I can tell shes acting the martyr even from the other room!
So she keeps calling me for dinner I didn't really want, and I was busy, so I wasn't in the best of moods, but then I trip and spill my dinner.. and she goes nuts! Anyway, I was planning on going for a walk before then, so I decided to then because she just wouldn't get off my case, and she took that even worse apparently.
If we're going to fight, isn't it better for me to just walk away until we're both calmed down again? Because thats what I think. And shes just overreacting about the 'yelling' and 'slamming' she says happened. I was just in a bad mood after spilling my dinner.
Added by innocentguy (male)
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