The Guy That Never Leaves!

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Side 2
Side 1 says... A few months ago we walk into our apartment to find this guy standing at the top of the stairs (we live on the converted second floor of a large house with a guest bedroom used by both the landlord who lives downstairs and us). We find out this guy is moving in to that room for an extended time because he sold his house faster than he thought and the new owners wanted him out in 30 days. While looking for his new house he was staying here.

He is a dreadful guy. A true asshole. Our landlord is someone who if you know what you're doing, you can walk all over him and this guy does it in absolute fashion. So he makes no mind to not only live in the room with all his filth and art, but also takes over the landlord's place downstairs, lazing around with his glutenous body all over the front porch acting like he owns the place, eating all the landlord's food, and his cough - his cough is like if Tinker Bell got a sniffle. And he coughs all the time because he smokes.

My husband goes to borrow the landlord's saw yesterday and to ask when this guy is moving out (since we found out weeks ago he had closed on a new house) because my parents were coming into town next week and we'd like to put them up in the guest room if at all possible. He told us he won't be out by next week because he's installing new floors and basically doing work on his house and staying here. Even the landlord said he was fed up and tired of it.

Annoyed to all hell, we deal with it. Then yesterday I'm leaving to go to work and behind me I see the asshole sitting on the front porch while he's trying to start a conversation with me says "well I just don't know when I'll be moving out." Pissed me off something awful.

We thought we would have been in the clear for the guest room and now we're gonna have to either put my parents up in a hotel or give them our room and sleep on the porch on an air mattress (while it's 100 degrees most days).

I want to move so bad because of this I just don't know what to do and it's causing tension between me husband and I. He's good about it and he tries to deal with it also but the guy gets to us so much. I think we should confront the landlord about it but he says otherwise. I'M SO MAD. I just want this guy gone and out of my life!
Added by FedUpUsually (female)
Side 2 says... She's not embellishing. This guy is the fruity terror you never want around. I'm not homophobic at all but the guy is in fact gay and the biggest priss you'll ever meet. He complains about everything and he's got a trucker mouth to go with it. All he ever wears are loafers and we hear him walk up and down the stairs like he's in drag wearing high heels. If my dad were gay, he'd be this guy.

This is where I differ with my wife about moving out. We both love the location. For this price and everything included, it would cost us almost double in the same area. We got the deal because my wife was friends with the landlord prior to us moving to town. And he's an extremely nice guy. Gives us wine occasionally. Invites us to his dinner parties. He didn't even lock us in with a lease (which to some may scare people but this is truly not a problem in our situation). All utilities, cable, and internet are all included. It's really an ideal setup.

If we move the burden of paying extra money for rent (or a mortgage if we bought a house which would be forced and too quick and for sure a mistake) plus all the added utilities and not knowing for sure what our neighbors would be like in a new place, I think waiting for this guy to scoot to his new house is the right move. He'll eventually leave.

For now, I've turned my anger from him being here into fun by messing with him. He's retired and doesn't do much but eat and complain, so I get up extra early to bang around the kitchen, beat some eggs, turn on the blender, and basically whatever I can do to make enough noise to wake him up at 4:30 in the morning. Because he has loafers, I want to spray Pam on the wooden bank of stairs and see him lose it but my wife thinks that's going too far. Secretly egg his car? Possible in the near future. I feel if I can start everyday out for him shitty then he'll get annoyed enough to leave quicker. But I'll kindly take suggestions on what else I can do torture him.

He'll be gone before I let him get to me enough to make me want to leave. That I promise.
Added by TypicalSituation (male)
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