Materialistic Things Mean More Than Me

Side 2 says... Side 2: First let me say that I believe to make a realistic or honest opinion on a issue the more facts that are laid out,the easier that will be.As she stated the first few years of our marriage were greatI had always rebuilt antique cars,had one when she came into the marriage,so she was aware of all of this.The work in the garage was not just about a hobby,but also a way for extra income.Materialistic things are just that materialistic. I was just trying to supply a little extra income,to have a little better life.She comes across that she is the only one compromising in this,so I will address those issues.She stated that she had given up a home,which was actually a house that she was renting at the time.She also stated that she was asked to sell her car and drive another,which is true.The car she had was in very bad shape,I had already put new tires on it and spent a lot of money on mechanical work,not to mention it had severe rust problems,so I figured it was time to get rid of it before it cost us a fortune.She only drove this car for a little while,and we sold it and bought another,which I will mention that she did not like either.From the time she entered this marriage,she was going to school for a nursing degree.She had started and stopped many times,for fininacial reasons and previous divorces.One night she was sitting in the living room,and started crying,because of the stress she was under not knowing if she could go on because of not being able to take care of the kids at home and all the other things that were to be done around the house.I told her that I would do everything I could,and help,so she would have the time she needed for school.After mant years of trying,she graduated with an RN degree.At one point after she started to work,she asked that we move 35-80 miles away so she would be closer to her job.I told her that I could not do that for the following reasons. I run and manage a family owned business that is 35 years old,not to mention that I have aging parents,80 years old.I was out of church for a long time,but when we got married,she got me started back in the church she had been going to since she was a child.We were even married there. I was greatful to her.she became youth director for awhile,but then resigned after some troubles arose.I am currently an usher,trustee,and chairman of the personel committee.Since she has left she said I should go to church where she does,that’s she is not going back to our original church.I got all of my family started at this church also.so I am going now by myself,which is uncomfortable under these circumstances,and she is not attending anywhere.During a lot of the time we have been together,when I get home from work I would come in,speak to her,and she will sit there sometimes minutes at a time without saying a word,I think this is very rude,and her children says she does the same to them.I enjoy going to the races,and have asked her repeatedly to go but she wont,if I go on without her she gets mad. I have wondered many times if I was just lookink at all of these issues wrong,so one night when we were in an argument about some things,I asked her oldest daughter what her opinion was. She was taking sides with me on some issues,telling her mother she was wrong,she got furious and they got into a big fight.I apologized to the daughter for ever getting her involved. Her daughter at that time told me she had always had problems with relationships.She spends many hours at night doing paperwork,from the days work she has done,I have even gone back to work with her and set there while she finishes up,all to which I have never said a word,because I consider this part of her job.I have helped her raise her 3 children to the best of my ability for the last eight years.She does not cook much,maybe once a month,and I do the majority of cleaning and washing clothes around the house not to mention all the outside work that needs to be done.She will not go with me to my parents to visit.We took a family vacation one year to Orlando.My daughter and husband,and her and her kids were at an amusement park. She got mad because she thought no one was doing what she wanted to do,so she walked off leaving everyone of us there saying she was going back to Kentucky. She left all of us (7) to get back to the hotel in one car.It appears to me that if everything does not go the way She thinks is right,she is furious. As she stated we were separated for about a month. During that time she was intimate with the man she had her daughter with.I did not find out about this until months later. Itold her that I was in a place I had never been before,but I would try to handle the situation as best I could,and did.Just recently I found out that she had this same person on my space as a contact.Once again iand others had a problem with this thinking its not right. Her comment to this was she would talk to anyone she wanted,regardless of what I thought or the way it would make me feel. She has always been a secretive person,no one can get on her computer, because as she says she does not want anyone getting on there messing it up,when she has all passwords and full access to mine.If I do go somewhere like the races,she said she will go somewhere with the girls,like a bar. I have told her she can go,no problem, I just don’t think the bar scene is a good idea. I do admit,and to her that over the years I have spent to much time in the garage. Recently, I told her I would finish up a job that I was working on for someone else,finish the car that I had purchased,and sell the other one that was in the garage,another words finish up everything and back off. Her response to that was,no, do it now which I think is totally unrealistic,since I would have to send a persons car back to them unfinished,the one of mine that has several thousands of dollars invested at this point,and only a couple of months away from being completed,would just be sitting,could not be enjoyed by us or sold either. I feel as though I have I have done my part in the eight years for her and the kids but now feel as though I have to do everthing her way or it does not work. I love her and have told her so,but I feel completely beaten down. I don’t understand.