Mar23

I don't think yelling at somebody ever does any good! Having said that a smelly dirty car is not good. Why don't you get a bag or box to keep in the car that you can put garbage in? at least it would be contained in one place and easy to dispose of at once.

He sounds like a fairly typical young male playing the field to me! Why don't you make a compromise - she promises to keep out of his business if he promises not to sleep with anybody she considers a friend?

Start by charging her a low rent that she couldn't afford without a job but is less that she would be able to get elsewhere and take it from there. Even a part time unskilled job would be a start - it would get her out of the house and she might make some good connections or even meet a decent guy to marry!

Magazine rack might not be the worst idea - have a set of books/magazines that are for bathroom use only and never come out of there. also make a rule that other books/magazines are not allowed in there. That way you keep the germs in the bathroom and not strewn around your house.

Running a family restaurant is long hours and hard work with often no holidays and little financial gain. Other people's relaxing time - weekends, evenings, holidays - are the times that you are busiest. You won't be able to spend much time with family and friends. Most of the cooks/chefs that I have worked with are angry/volatile people who shout a lot because they are under so much stress. If you fail, its not as easy as selling up and getting your old jobs back - you will be in massive amounts of debt. It will put a massive strain on your relationship - especially because you don't both want to do it.


In your shoes, I would suggest that he gets himself a full time chef/cook job just now. This will give him more experience and contacts in the business - and he will get a taste of the hours and stress he will be under. Do that for a year or so and then see if you still want to take it on yourself.

If she wants him to keep his phone on at all times in case of an emergency then she should only contact him in the case of an emergency. As much as he loves his wife and kids, it is not unusual to want a little bit of time out to relax. He would afford her the same luxury so why not she of him?

I think it is awful that she bought a dog without getting his consent first. Surely this is a joint decision? and not one to be taken lightly!! She has basically tried to trap him into something he didn't want and is now mad because he is standing his ground and not acting like a pushover. The kids obviously love the dog and he loves his kids so won't take the dog away - this is just emotional blackmail!!


However I'm not sure what he should do now - he can either carry on as he is (which would create tension and distress to his children and the dog) or take the dog back (devastating his children in the process but probably the kinder option for the dog if it is to be left inside all day) or suck it up and just look after the dog properly (thereby giving his manipulative wife what she wants).


Leaving a dog in the house all day is very cruel. Dogs love to run around and play. I'm not sure why she couldn't take the dog out with her and the kids.

buy a small, cheap tv and go on a lovely holiday which you will remember for the rest of your lives!! Less time watching films and more time out there in the world having fun is what I say!

So why can't he have one night out a week with his buddies? would she not allow it? or is he too weak to ask? Let him have that and give you his attention the rest of the time. If she would like to have some time with her friends too maybe he can do the same for her.


Having said that, if a woman was sneaking away from home because her sons and husband only spoke about guy things then that would be seen in a very different light.

Sorry buddy, she is just not that into you. She'll pick you up and drop you when she doesn't have a better offer. It says it all and you deserve better. Be strong and ignore her the next time she contacts you because she wants some male attention (as she inevitably will).

'Insufferable know-it-all' is probably how other people will describe him regardless of whether he is actually right or not. Maybe he should try to make himself a little more endearing to others by knowing when to just drop an argument.

You might not complain when dinner doesn't taste good - but if she didn't make it you might complain then!


Personally, the role of the woman who cooks and cleans while she lets her husband do all of the diy and car maintenance has never sat well with me. I like to be able to put up a shelf and fix things myself rather than wait for someone else. Similarly, my man cooks and cleans as much as I do. However, you have gone with the traditional roles so maybe he should do his properly!