#17040

menes

  • menes is ranked #17,040 on sidetaker10 years ago for 5 points
  • commented on the side The Case For Having A Family
    I say you have to compromise. First, you will never be completely ready to have a baby at any point, and 5 years can be too late. I know that you have to pay down your debt and save a little, but sit down and compromise. SHe can wait a little and he can save a little. One HUGE warning. The longer you wait, you increase the possibility of infertility. I have so many friends (and my brother and sister) who waited, saved, etc and then realized that their infertility problems caused them to go even deeper in debt and the strain on their marriages was ridiculous. Every single one of them wished that they had just sucked it up and did when they were younger and it was easier on their health and financial plans. My hubby and I were surprised by our first little one and I was laid off and then newly married with a new house being built (took all of our savings) and zero saved...then 9/11 came. It was a very difficult place to be in, but we were careful and saved and budgeted and 14 years later we have 3 beautiful kids and all have paid off tuition plans and we have been packing away the $$$$ for retirement in 20 years. It can be done - you just need to compromise. None of my friends have recovered from the infertility costs yet - they incurred these debts later in life. It's a lot harder to fight back now. :) Wait a little, make sure you have a place to live and $$$ but try not to walt too long.
    6 years ago for 0 points
  • voted for averyrandall (side 1) on the side Every Single Time! 6 years ago for 5 points
  • voted for 45over2 (side 2) on the side Mad At Me For Thread Count 6 years ago for 5 points
  • commented on the side Mad At Me For Thread Count
    It just sounds like you are not making large money decisions together. That is a problem. It may be that she does not discuss these decisions with you only when she knows it will be a fight, so buys it anyway. There is no way that she should have bought the baby furniture without agreeing on a budget first. The sheets are not that big of a deal, but your issue may be with establishing a bad habit. I understand where he is coming from. She cannot just say "he makes good money" and then buy whatever she wants. They are a partnership and should make most decisions together. I understand why he put these safeguards in place until she proves to be more fiscally responsible and respectful.
    6 years ago for 0 points
  • commented on the side Tired Of My Boyfriends Lifestyle And Friends.
    Completely not ready for a grown up relationship. Either of them. She is unable to recognize that he will not prioritize her or chose to continue inappropriate relationships. He is not ready to understand that you cannot be friends with women that you had relationships - you can still be polite and kind to each other when you run into each other. But, texting, calling, and stopping by is an indicator that he is not ready for an adult relationship. He still wants the single lifestyle with a girlfriend. These realizations all come with age and experience. Neither are ready for this yet. Pretty common, not that big of a deal.
    6 years ago for 0 points
  • voted for heather2889 (side 1) on the side Tired Of My Boyfriends Lifestyle And Friends. 6 years ago for 5 points
  • voted for workerB (side 2) on the side Interns Are Ruining The Workplace 6 years ago for 5 points
  • commented on the side Need For Friends Over Family
    I do have 2 sons I never feel left out. This is just an excuse. An effort has to be made to do things together.
    6 years ago for 0 points
  • commented on the side Need For Friends Over Family
    I believe the main issue should be about the lying and deceit. What kind of adult relationship requires one to lie constantly about where you're going. There is no problem with and it is completely healthy to hang out with "the guys". But, lying is never acceptable. I have not seen any evidence to support the fact that your wife has in issue with this. I think you are no finding a healthy balance. If she was feeling that her needs wee being met, then she obviously wouldn't be having these issues and you wouldn't chose to,ignore these issues and simply lie to get what you want. It's all about the balance.
    6 years ago for 0 points
  • voted for wunderful (side 1) on the side Need For Friends Over Family 6 years ago for 5 points
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