Who should I be with? Paul or Brian?
I'm currently engaged to Paul. We've been together since June 20th of this year and got engaged in September, but we've known each other since we were about 12.
My ex, Brian [whom I dated for 3 years total] and I have a very long history. We worked through many problems and hard times and came out strong. Although, we both are guilty of cheating, so there was always trust issues between us which caused larger problems such as jealousy, controlling, saying horrible things to each other,etc. I broke up with Brian because he was not treating me well and basically I thought he was too immature and he needed some growing up to do before our relationship could go any further.
So I was broken up with him for about 3 months before I started dating Paul. I'm nervous that it was too soon and I may not be completely over Brian. I still think about him all the time, and Brian even left me a notebook worth of letters explaining how he finally understands all the things I was trying to make him see, and how incredibly sorry he is for everything he did to me. But Paul and I have a great relationship, he makes me very happy and treats me the way a gentleman should treat a lady. We are the best of friends, whereas Brian and I could not see eye to eye on a lot of important things, and we get along great.
Brian thinks that there were a lot of outside factors causing our relationship to fail, in the lamest terms. He thinks we got robbed of a "real" chance to make things work because of those outside factors, and that its not fair that Paul and I are working well together because we have no "problems." But in truth Paul and I have already been through some major life experiences together and even some rather hard times, in other words we've definitely hit some bumps in the road already.
One of my major concerns is that I am in college studying Investigative Services and I'm minoring in Russian. Basically I have a career whereas Paul and Brian have trades. Paul is working to move up to a career level job instead of a trade, and I don't really know what Brian plans to do in the future for work. I need a man that has a career that works with mine. I do know that I will have to be able to move eventually to further my training in this field, and I need to know that my significant other will be able to go with me.
So here I am today, Paul and I are now living with each other, and I am still thinking about Brian. What should I do???????
My ex, Brian [whom I dated for 3 years total] and I have a very long history. We worked through many problems and hard times and came out strong. Although, we both are guilty of cheating, so there was always trust issues between us which caused larger problems such as jealousy, controlling, saying horrible things to each other,etc. I broke up with Brian because he was not treating me well and basically I thought he was too immature and he needed some growing up to do before our relationship could go any further.
So I was broken up with him for about 3 months before I started dating Paul. I'm nervous that it was too soon and I may not be completely over Brian. I still think about him all the time, and Brian even left me a notebook worth of letters explaining how he finally understands all the things I was trying to make him see, and how incredibly sorry he is for everything he did to me. But Paul and I have a great relationship, he makes me very happy and treats me the way a gentleman should treat a lady. We are the best of friends, whereas Brian and I could not see eye to eye on a lot of important things, and we get along great.
Brian thinks that there were a lot of outside factors causing our relationship to fail, in the lamest terms. He thinks we got robbed of a "real" chance to make things work because of those outside factors, and that its not fair that Paul and I are working well together because we have no "problems." But in truth Paul and I have already been through some major life experiences together and even some rather hard times, in other words we've definitely hit some bumps in the road already.
One of my major concerns is that I am in college studying Investigative Services and I'm minoring in Russian. Basically I have a career whereas Paul and Brian have trades. Paul is working to move up to a career level job instead of a trade, and I don't really know what Brian plans to do in the future for work. I need a man that has a career that works with mine. I do know that I will have to be able to move eventually to further my training in this field, and I need to know that my significant other will be able to go with me.
So here I am today, Paul and I are now living with each other, and I am still thinking about Brian. What should I do???????
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