All you have to do is... RESPECT MY SPACE!

So my girlfriend.. ex girlfriend... titles shmitles... lol (I know that burns some people up). But my girl and I are about to have a talk that involves seeing what we have to make it as a couple financially. She makes it more than me... runs circles around me... however I hold my own. Who she is and what she does does not rattle my boots. lol I've been called arrogant a couple times from previous questions I've posed and managed to still get some good feedback from level headed individuals who can connect to the circumstance. LADIES, please know that if you're bread winning... you're not looking for a guy to make as much money as you. You're looking for a guy that you can respect. And part of that respect is his ability to show confidence and a little bit of swagger... in and out of the bedroom. On another level, this type of woman also wants a guy who she can connect with and show off to all of her friends. The PITFALL that you must watch out is... not rushing things... and giving a guy space when he says he needs it. And this is my problem that I had to face through the the course of my relationship. "Would you just slow down... back off... slow up... what's the rush" And she wouldn't get it. Pushing keys to the house on me. Wow, she put em' in her back pocket... a place she knew I like to reach into : ) and I pull out a couple of keys. And I'm thinking... I can't keep these... and so I say instinctively... wow, what's this. "Oh since you come over sometimes late after work... this will save the trouble of having to let you in." And I'm like in my head "No.... I can't keep em." So we go and do whatever we did that day, and I think at the end of the day I said "You know I think this is too soon... can we hold on these for a while." And I gave em' back... she was a little embarassed. But she's soooooo smart she knew why did it... I think. So some time passes... maybe a couple of months. We're in her garage in the dark... rushing to go somewhere and I said oooo I forgot something in the house. Give me your keys for a second. And you guessed it... she pulls out those same two little keys... I rush to the door and and I look... I said "ain't that some shit.... she did it again... sigh, now I gotta keep em." Cute... but I felt over all like that did not respect my space. And it was one of many instances that she did not respect my space. And so now we are not together... pretty much for her rushing, not respecting my space, and not communicating in a transparent manner. And so after 3 months of being apart, I believe God showed me a sign where I needed to be open and forgiving with her. So I reached out... and whew, it was like an arctic gust of wind had just swept through my bedroom. she was snippy and cold. And I understood. She was hurt, mad, and alone. So now we've been talking about once a week. And each time, she gets a little more truth from me on how things went wrong. And now its HER that asking for space while she contemplates... lol. And I'm gonna give it to her. But my point to all of this is... just because you are in a relationship does not give you free access to intrude on a person's personal space and comfort zone. And that goes for in and out of a relationship. "Respect My Space."
By Mrkarmel 9 years ago :: Dating
  • Robert Betancourt
    MA, Professional Counseling,Therapist
    Emotional Healing-25+ years experience in helping people find solutions that work. "one of the best therapists here" $2.49/minute
       4.93/5
  • Rafael Richman
    Ph.D.
    Are you feeling stuck, trapped in the same patterns that repeat over & over? Are you feeling angry, alone, unappreciated & unheard? I can help you. $2.85/minute
       4.84/5
  • View More Experts
    11