Is she after my man?

My boyfriend and I are both in our late twenties and have been together a year. A few months ago, he attended a dinner with some well known people (politicians, tv personalities, etc). I was a little miffed that he didn't ask me to go with him, but when I brought it up, he insisted that significant others were not invited and that it would be inappropriate for him to ask to bring me. At the dinner, he met a woman I'll refer to as Glamour. Glamour is a charming, beautiful woman in her late thirties who has been a well known personality for many years and is now involved politics. My boyfriend told me that a few people attending the dinner, including Glamour, happened to be going on vacation to a luxury resort on a famous island. Glamour suggested that he should come along. My boyfriend claims that he told her (and the others) that he'd have to check with me and see if we were available. He also told me that he bragged about me to the other people at the dinner -- (some of them had seen me on TV or had otherwise heard about me).

Fast forward a few weeks: My boyfriend invites me to attend a VIP luncheon that included the same crowd of politicians and personalities. He makes a point to introduce me to Glamour. She was nice enough and told us that she wanted to have us over for dinner. The next week, we joined her and her boyfriend at their place.

What I really hated about the dinner was that my boyfriend seemed star-struck with Glamour and both he and Glamour's boyfriend seemed to hang on every word she said -- at times, my boyfriend would even motion for me to be quiet to allow her to finish a statement, and he basically had a very complimentary attitude to her -- moreso than towards me. Usually when I'm out with my boyfriend, he has nothing but flattering things to say about me and is very affectionate. At Glamour's home, he was a bit cooler towards me. For example, usually he'll put his arms around me or hold my hand, but that night, I was the one being affectionate. After we got home, I told him how I felt and we got into a huge fight about it. He accused me of being jealous, and I accused him of being oblivious to how he was behaving toward this woman.

A few weeks later, Glamour sent my boyfriend a text message telling him that she had just gotten back from her vacation and that she had lots of things to talk to him about (presumably related to politics). In the message - which she sent at about 4 PM in the afternoon - she invited him (not us) over her house for "a drink" at 7 PM. When my boyfriend told me this, I first told him calmly that I didn't like the situation.. to me, it was odd that she invited him to her house alone, without inviting me - and if it was simply a "business" or political get-together, she could have invited him to a public place like a restaurant or a bar. Secondly, I thought it was weird that she would think she could invite him at the last minute to meet her -- as if she presumed he had no plans with me that evening. My boyfriend pretended that he saw nothing out of the ordinary about her message -- he told me that it was not unusual that she did not invite me, given that she already invited me once for dinner. He also told me that he didn't see any ulterior motives on her part, since she has a boyfriend. I became infuriated with my boyfriend for not acknowledging what was, to me, an obvious advance on Glamour's part. Again, we had a huge fight, and he branded me as a jealous woman. I told him I would feel more comfortable if he texted her back and suggested they meet another time at a public place of his choosing. He said that he followed my advice and claimed he would let me know if he ever heard from her again. About a month later, we had a conversation about her and her boyfriend (Glamour's boyfriend had helped my boyfriend with a project) and I casually asked if he had heard from her - he admitted he had gotten an email from her over the last few days - but I was angry that he waited to tell me that she contacted him, and the only reason he even told me was because I asked. Our agreement had been that he'd keep me posted if he heard from her, and in my mind, he didn't.

Just to provide some context: my boyfriend is an unusually attractive man -- almost universally regarded as hot, very well dressed and charismatic. I consider myself a beautiful woman myself, but not nearly as "glamorous" as Glamour. I admit that I felt intimidated and challenged by Glamour - but I think that she was also making a play on my man. I have no problem with other beautiful women as long as they don't invite my boyfriend over their house alone at night for a "cocktail".

So - what do you guys and gals think? Was I overreacting or was this an advance on Glamour's part?
By Baker 9 years ago :: Dating
  • Robert Betancourt
    MA, Professional Counseling,Therapist
    Emotional Healing-25+ years experience in helping people find solutions that work. "one of the best therapists here" $2.49/minute
       4.93/5
  • Rafael Morales
    MA-MS, MHT-MHRS
    I have extensive training and expertise in clinical, counseling, transpersonal/integral psychology and coaching. I provide support to those willing to work on themselves… $2.75/minute
       4.84/5
  • View More Experts
    7