What happens when my partner doesn't trust me at all?

My partner of three years doesn't trust me at all.

I believe I haven't given him any reason to not trust me. We have all the same passwords he can go threw anything of mine and my phone lays around anywhere for him 2 look at whenever he wants.

Recently, I wanted to catch up with an old friend who was kind of an X.. He was a bit of a freak when i first met him but a harmless one. He was infactuated by me and followed me everywhere to teh point where i asked him to stop and leave me alone etc etc. Anyway I asked my partner if i could go and meet up with him and he said "you can do whatever you want" I kept pressing the situation that if he wasn't happy with it then I would deffinately not go. I was tottally open about teh whole thing. When i got back he asked me "how was my date" and the whole thign blew up. I told him if you had said you were not happy with it I wouldn't have gone! It was so innocent the guy i was going to coffee with asked me if he wanted to come!

NOW, my x from... about 5 years ago.. we chat every now and then. He messaged me on MSN the other day and said he had a new house and wanted to show me some pictures. He asked me to add him to facebook so he could show me. I said no way! My family absolutely hates him and I do not want him on my facebook becasue to put it bluntly his not a friend. We just chat and find out what is going on with each others lives pretty much. He went and created a facebook account and told me to log in to see his pictures. I did and a look and then left. I wasn't even on the account for 5 mins and i cant even remember the password or anything. My partner had seen the account and seen that the only friend i had on there was this X. He hit the roof. I explained the whole thign to him. I could have deleted the history if i wanted to but i didn't even think of it as 'sneaking' around or being 'untrustworthy'.

I want a total open relationship and i try so hard. I have once again for the ..god knows how many times.. deleted my facebook, my msn account my skype and any male contacts i have becasue i do see his side and i dont want to cause problems but i am just being damn honest i haven't done a thing!.. I trust him so much. I know he loves me and wouldn't do anything against me. I don't care if he has females on his facebook etc that i dont even know. It hasn;t even fased me one bit.

He keeps saying "yes its fine for me to talk 2 whoever i want" then he turns around and goes barmy at me for talking. He thought i created teh account to talk to the X. Well he messaged me on msn and he has access to that why would i create a facebook account just to talk to him? It doesn't even make sence.


I can see where he is coming from but i still believe i haven't given him a reason to mistrust me i am open with everything that i do. It didn't even cross my mind that I should tell him about the account i was only in it for 5 mins to look at some photos of a house and it just seemed so trivial to me.

I also have a friend ben who i chat to often. His just a friendly person and we get along great and we have been friends for god knows how many years but we lost contact for a while. My partner always calls him my 'other boyfriend'

I have messaged him all day telling him i love him and nobody could compare to him and i have always love dhim and that i am willing to do anything for him 2 trust me. He is ignoring me.

What do i do? WHat else can i do? Am i in the wrong?
By Hanz33 9 years ago :: Dating
  • Rafael Morales
    MA-MS, MHT-MHRS
    I have extensive training and expertise in clinical, counseling, transpersonal/integral psychology and coaching. I provide support to those willing to work on themselves… $2.75/minute
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  • Milton Mankoff
    Ph.D.; LMSW
    Misunderstandings can create or escalate conflicts, but genuine incompatibility can also exist within relationships. Non-judgmental. LGHBTQIA-supportive. $2.75/minute
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