if you love someone who is mentally challenged with bipolar & borderline personality but have become exhauste

i'm a woman in love with a woman who suffers from bipolar & borderline personality disorder. she is also and addict 14yrs clean but still has the attitudes & behaviors of one whos using. we've been together 41/2 yrs and i think ive travled into waters i can no longer swim. I'm exhausted by her cycling of mania & depression. she also has episodes of violence when i say ,"i can't do this any more". she threatens suicide and becomes completly irrational tearing up the house yellin & screaming. I've done all I can in the way of support,listening and loving her unconditionaly. she also smokes 3 packs of ciggs a day,chews ice constantly drinks coffee works only a1/2 hour a day driving and is exhausted all the time. our sex life was incredible but has disapated since i moved in one year ago november 4. nor do i get affection,or even intimacy (not sex) or tenderness. shes cycling right now in the depression end and sleeps all the time.before i moved in we were in love and best friends.this is not working now and my life has become infected as i am on the recieving end of her illness & behaviors.
I'm tired now but still love her. she needs me but i need to save myself at this point. Ironically I am an educated counsoler for the mentally ill every day. my job exhaustes me. I'm a patient, kind, gentle,loving woman who wants someone healthy, ambitious, affectionate and most importantly BALANCED! we've lost our way from eachother but i still love her very much.
So, do I stay or do I move out and try to salvage whats left of the friendship at the very least? HELP, I'M DROWNING!
By honeybush 14 years ago :: General
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