My mother and my friend do not speak to each other and they both blame the other person. How do I handle this?

I will start out by saying that my mother and my friend are both difficult people. Ironically they are very much alike, but neither one of them would admit to this. They have come to a point where they don't speak to each other and each one blames the other. Normally this is a not a problem except for when I am around. We all live in the same neighborhood so it is possible for them to see each other when I am not around, but it is alway difficult if I am around.
My mother is very outspoken and very opinionated and so is my friend. Over the course of the last 16 years, there have been many occasions where they found fault with one another. Everything came to a head about 2 years ago. My friend was at my house when my mother showed up. My mother said some things that I probably would not have said and even though my friend was defending herself, I do believe that she overreacted and began to "kitchen sink". I was lliterally phyically sick about this for about one year and then realized that there was nothing I could do about it. My mother feels that since she is the older person, my friend should be the one to be nice. My friend feels that she is no longer and child and does not feel that even though my mother is her elder, should she give in. The three of us never really did anything together, but this whole episode has made it difficult for me. I would never invite my friend to the house for one of my kids birthday because my mother is there. I try to avoid situations when I feel that one of them might be at a certain place. It is very difficult for me. Like I mentioned earlier, ironically they are both very similar. Both of them have allianated people in their lives. There are people that my friend does not speak to or say hello to in addition to my mom and there are people that my mother has had falling outs with. I feel that for my sake, they should tolerate each other enough to say "hello" to each other. There will be school functions or neighborhood functions where they might run into each other. How do I handle this if I am with one of them and the other shows up. Somethimes I think that I must stick with my mother, because she is my mother. sometimes I would rather be with my friend. sometimes they both drive my crazy and I would rather be with neither.
By Mary323 14 years ago :: General
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