What should i do about my roommate/friend and everything else?! am I wrong?!

So, freshman year of college, I moved in with an aquatince whom everyone thought would be a perfect roommate match for me; and for a while, she was. It all went downhill when she started dating a guy my friends and I thought was a great guy, until he started getting stupidly belligerently drunk and showed his true colors. He is constantly talking negatively about everyone around him, he acts childish, needy, attention seeking, and just pure degrading and condescending when you talk to him. Now, he and I developed a good friendship in all of this and I tolerated him, mostly because I was probably afraid of him and I didn't want to let my roommate know how much he bothered me and many others. So, she started having sex with him in the middle of the school year, and that leads to attachments and higher expectations of course. She had him sleeping over almost EVERY night in out 10 by 12 dorm room. I went with it for the most part, occasionally hinting that his presence and them making out and whispering and giggling underneath my top bunk was somewhat annoying to me, but I was afraid to have either of them mad at me and I didn't want to lose my roommate, so the sleepovers continued and so did my silence. I didn't realize the true disrespect my roommate was showing towards me by having a guest in our room every night until i finally spilled to someone that I was getting sick of it over the summer, so I finally got mad and was planning, if the sleepovers continued the next semester after summer, to confront her and make a kind of deal such as sleepovers only on weekends of maybe once during the school week. Of course, the first week of school he slept over EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. I couldn't sleep. I came into school already highly stressed and had bad anxiety and I really needed my space now more than ever, so on a wednesday after a few drinks, I stumbled into the room to find her and her asshole of a boyfriend to be in my room again, and I asked "are we adopting him?". maybe not the best way to approach the situation, but the anger about the situation was finally out there, and so I waited for my roommates reaction, which shocked me beyond belief. Instead of pulling me aside and apologizing, she, in front of her boyfriend, QUESTIONED me. Asking "why? Is he nuisance to you or something?" and "don't be mad if I'm shocked this is suddenly all coming out when all of last year you were fine with it?". that put me over. the. edge. I crawled up to my top bunk and sulked in my anger with their giggles and whispers in the background. Anyways, so my suite mate (her high school "best friend") , also was fed up with her for her own reasons so she vented to me and I vented to her (bad idea) and it all just escalated really quickly. My roommate felt "attacked" by everyone around her after her boyfriend threw a drunken fit and humiliated himself and her in front of pretty much everyone. Yet she stayed with him, but that's none of my business. But everyone kept bitching about her andI got caught in the middle. So my suite mate asks if my roommate had been telling her mom about all that is going on and if she is telling the truth and I told her that her mom knew about only what my roommate would share (without her mom knowing the truth about the whole thing because shed be in trouble if her mom knew the full story), and I told her that when she sees her mom that the mom will be mature because she is an adult but that she is not fond her right now because of what my roommate shared with her about her being attacked by my suite mate. SO of course I was just trying to help but it came back around and bit me in the ass when on the day of tailgate, my suite mate had it out with my roommate and told her what I said about her conversation with her mom but left out the important parts and made me look really really bad so now the tables were turned, they became best friends again and now I am left the bad guy. Now we have an awkward relationship and we don't talk much anymore and we hashed it out pretty bad and we yelled and fought and then i broke down crying and apologized for my wrong doings and she never apologized for hers and to this day still refuses to believe she was wrong and the wrongest in the situation. So now she is rallying up our group of friends and I don't know what she says to them but I am afraid she's saying bad things and not telling them the true full story and is just making me look bad and turning people against me. I feel attacked and alone now, all because I stood up for myself agasint something EXTREMELY justifiable and it all crumbled down in front of me. am I wrong here?! what should I do? I want to move out but I can't. should i confront my roommate again?
By Mk12 10 years ago :: Roommates
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