Likely off the normal topic, but I need help with a poem.

I'm no writer or poet, and this probably marks my second attempt in my life at doing this so if this community wouldn't mind reviewing this and helping me improve it...

"Though you struggle every day,
To find yourself and find your way
You have passed by me,
And shared your heart

However, your journey had you depart,
Nevertheless, with me you will always be a part
Your smile, your laugh,
Your sorrow, your tears
These will comfort me throughout the years

Still a friend though once a lover
Emotions deeply buried undercover
However, as a butterfly you have egressed,
Trying to lay your past to rest

Your wings a golden hue,
Declaring the true beauty of just you
Moreover, should your path bring you back again,
I'll be here
A waiting friend"
By Semper_Cogitans 8 years ago :: General
  • Iain A. Morrison
    MA Psych Cert Ed.
    Loving attachment is probably the greatest source of our happiness - I can help if it is going wrong - or manage the hurt if its over $2.00/minute
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    MA, Professional Counseling,Therapist
    Emotional Healing-25+ years experience in helping people find solutions that work. "one of the best therapists here" $2.49/minute
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