Should I bring our kids to see my Mother in Law who is rude and insulting to me and sometimes criticizes them?

My mother in law is impossible to get along with, we have been married for 13 years and I have tried everything. All I ever wanted was to be accepted by this woman, and yet no matter what I do, she belittles me, she makes snarky comments, or sometimes is just out right rude. She will be fake nice about 60% of the time, but it is like walking on eggshells, because you never know when she is going to lash out. Sometimes she is critical of my children, and this is where I draw the line. I can put up with a lot, and believe me I have... but I feel like... NOT my kids. And by critical, I don't mean their behavior or anything like that, I mean, the way they look, the things they like... just things that are you should not criticize kids. She calls my 18 month old spoiled and compared him to a dog because she felt he was crying too much. But he needed a nap and it was a busy, noisy thanksgiving full of people, what are you going to do? So, after she told me that it was all my fault that he was this way because I don't do yadda yadda yadda, She made a flippent remark to me about me not bringing him around anymore. So I said, if you really feel that way, it can be arranged. And she lost her mind on me. Because how dare anyone stand up to her B.S. She is in her 70s, and I feel like, okay she is just an old B-word, she is never going to change. But she really hurts me and my kids feelings sometimes. I mean, I left today in tears! It sucks to go over there. The only reason why I do, is because I want my kids to see their Grandpa who is sweet and loving. (I have no idea how these two are even married--they seem to resent each other, but they are old school catholic so NO divorce.) I really don't know what to do anymore. I want my kids to spend times with their family, but I just can't deal with her anymore, 13 years of criticism and hateful words is enough already. What should I do?

I should also add that my husband is well aware of how mean she is, and he does not like either. He has said to me many times that we do not have to see them, he doesn't like to see me hurt or the kids hurt. But at the same time, he doesn't want to punish his Dad because of that old b-word. He said to me today though that we don't have to see her anymore... I mean this is his MOTHER, and he would be the first to tell you how truly awful she can really be.
By biunivoque 9 years ago :: Family (Extended)
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