A Girl's Simple Case Of Insanity

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Side 2
Side 1 says... Do the same thing over and over and expect different results, or the definition of insanity, is exactly what my girlfriend is doing. I called her on it and she says I am being insensitive and mean.

Her boss expects her to do extra work without extra pay but is never satisfied with the extra work she does. My girlfriend sees this in her looks and gets upset. Even though she is the only one on the entire staff who is capable of performing the extra duties, she feels she isn't entitled to take a stance against her boss for this (she doesn't think she has the upper hand). I told her to tell her boss "this is the best I can do and if it's not good enough, I'm sure someone else can try to and I can just do my regular job." She says she is not that type of person and that she has to be perfect about everything or at least give it her best effort.

Instead, she bitches about it to me everyday. So I tell her this. She won't confront her boss and won't change her habits, hating every minute of the lack in appreciation she has for the extra work she's doing. She decides to get mad and say I'm being mean for saying she's bitching about it.

And she does. Everyday she works - without fail - she bitches about it. And now I have to deal with the fallout.

Tell her she needs to confront her boss about it (politely is fine) and let her know she is being used. And to not be angry with me for telling her.
Added by NotQuiteSouthern (male)
Side 2 says... I am the type of person who likes to give 100% to whatever I am doing. I want to be the best I can be, no matter what. Compromise in my work ethic is not an option. That's just who I am.

The problem is that my current employer knows this about me and is exploiting it. She knows that she can pile tasks on me and I'll work my tail off to get them done and get them done right, even if it kills me (not literally). So when I get home at night, dead tired, I complain to my sweet, understanding BF. Until today when he basically tells me that all I do is bitch to him about work. And so, yes, I said he was being mean. Nobody wants to be THAT girl, the one who is always complaining. And it hurts my feelings that he thinks I am THAT girl.

In a perfect world I could just go to my boss and stand up for myself. I could tell her that she doesn't pay me enough to fulfill her unrealistic expectations. Honestly I wish I could do that. But it took me months to find this job after being laid off during a recession and I don't want to have to find a new one.

The bottom line is this: I'm not willing to change who I am (someone who refuses to give less than 100% to whatever I'm doing) for a job, even if they aren't paying me enough. In my world that's called integrity and I'm not going to give up on that because of a crappy boss.
Added by PSILUVU (female)
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