unpleasant situation, not sure how to handle it
Good folk at SideTaker, I find myself in a bind and I'm unsure of the best way to handle the situation. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.
To set the scene:
My best friend and I are college students. During our last exam period I told my friend about the short vacation I had planned with a different set of friends (this is a yearly event she knows about). She in turn told me that it made her a bit sad that she wasn't invited because the two of us never went on a vacation together. I told her truthfully that I'd be more than happy to go on a separate vacation with her. We agreed to make more definite plans after our exams were over.
The problem:
I assumed that we both meant to go somewhere in September, the reasons being:
a) we both have a lot of studying and/or writing to do before the end of August because of several resits (for her) and an unfinished thesis (both of us);
b) I already went on a short vacation and thought that it was understood that taking more time off would endanger me making my thesis deadline;
c) she is working fulltime this month, and I figured she wouldn't want to lose more precious study time because she told me that by accepting this job she's taking too many risks already.
Apparently my assumptions were off the mark though. When I mailed her about making plans for our escapade she informed me that she had already taken care of everything. I found out she had decided where we would be going, for how long we'd be there, but also when we would go. This is all pretty much set in stone (she has made the arrangements) and happening this month.
Having another vacation planned this month really came as an unwelcome surprise for me. I feel that if I want to finish my thesis by the end of August, I really can't afford to lose that time. Of course, seeing as every arrangement is already made, it brings on a whole new set of problems I don't want to deal with if I firmly decline to go this month.
On top of that, I'm not at all happy with the fact that she decided all of this without even once contacting or consulting me, but I don't want to blow it out of proportion either.
I really have no idea what the appropriate response to this situation is, so I'm turning to you guys. How do you think I should handle this?
To set the scene:
My best friend and I are college students. During our last exam period I told my friend about the short vacation I had planned with a different set of friends (this is a yearly event she knows about). She in turn told me that it made her a bit sad that she wasn't invited because the two of us never went on a vacation together. I told her truthfully that I'd be more than happy to go on a separate vacation with her. We agreed to make more definite plans after our exams were over.
The problem:
I assumed that we both meant to go somewhere in September, the reasons being:
a) we both have a lot of studying and/or writing to do before the end of August because of several resits (for her) and an unfinished thesis (both of us);
b) I already went on a short vacation and thought that it was understood that taking more time off would endanger me making my thesis deadline;
c) she is working fulltime this month, and I figured she wouldn't want to lose more precious study time because she told me that by accepting this job she's taking too many risks already.
Apparently my assumptions were off the mark though. When I mailed her about making plans for our escapade she informed me that she had already taken care of everything. I found out she had decided where we would be going, for how long we'd be there, but also when we would go. This is all pretty much set in stone (she has made the arrangements) and happening this month.
Having another vacation planned this month really came as an unwelcome surprise for me. I feel that if I want to finish my thesis by the end of August, I really can't afford to lose that time. Of course, seeing as every arrangement is already made, it brings on a whole new set of problems I don't want to deal with if I firmly decline to go this month.
On top of that, I'm not at all happy with the fact that she decided all of this without even once contacting or consulting me, but I don't want to blow it out of proportion either.
I really have no idea what the appropriate response to this situation is, so I'm turning to you guys. How do you think I should handle this?
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