How do I keep our marriage from being impacted by his mother and her inability to be responsible? PLEASE Help

I am currently facing a very difficult and challenging situation. My husband has always been very close with his mother and now that we have become financially stable and have a good source of income for our future his mothers lack of responsibility and neglect to care for herself have come into full affect. This is the 10th time in 11 years that she is about to be homeless and is ALWAYS counting on him/us to rescue her again. I'm all for some of the financial support and helping out to an extent but when it starts taking up a lot of his time, emotional wellbeing and causing damage and stress that comes between us I start opposing to things. We both agreed that it would be a good thing to help (this time), due to her having some medical issues and getting a stent put in. I was more than willing to help take a bit of her burden regarding her once again getting evicted but now it is becoming very excessive and more of a importance and priority to him then his wife and kids. I thought we would only be helping with a RV or motor home or small property with a mobile home for 20k-50k but no he is not on that level he is searching for a home that will cost approximately 150k and wipe out all our savings/ money that is actually accessible.....To top things off not only is he going to buy her house, now is telling me that I may need to go back to work in order to support the kids and monthly bills and constantly complains about our expenses??? I don't see how if he is so willing to put out so much money for his mother, but is also willing to sacrifice our stability and security. This is a huge problem to me and it is very hurtful as I am now faced with the burdens of his moms neglect and bad financial choices throughout her life. I now feel like a burden to my spouse and less like his priority. In my opinion my spouse should and will always come first.
She also has three other children and they will not help her at all and have stopped enabling her endless pattern. They would literally let her become homeless. They have come to the point that they barely speak because she has continuously done the same thing throughout her life. She has went through a lot of money and made a lot of bad choices and unfortunately continues to place the weight and the burden on her's youngest son who is my husband. She now uses her health complications to get his attention and keeps telling him that all of her stress is going to kill her. For the better part of the relationship before the actual health problems she would cry wolf about her health and throw up the things that she has provided and given him throughout his life. Just a little insight We have been together for 11 years......., After struggling and busting my butt for years since becoming stable and secure financially you would think that we would be in the most happiest and peaceful place in our lives. I know money could never gaurentee happiness but it should have taken away from our financial stress. Having a home completely paid off and no payments on anything except for the annual taxes and day to day living expense should be a dream come true but I truly feel like everything is falling apart. I know we have money in retirement and stocks but lately I am beginning to feel like myself and the children are no longer his priorities and the money is not "ours" but his. I'm not sure what to do anymore and every time we approach the conversation regarding his mother and how much is to much it ends in a worse place then it started. He knows and even understands that he will never get anything back from her for this purchase but is CHOOSING to do it even at the expense of our own lives. What should I do?? I don't want to leave my spouse and I want our life to be in a good place??? Please Help
By MrsSMR702 8 years ago :: Marriage
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