Money And Problems
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Side 2
Side 2
Side 1 says...
I will try and make this as sort as possible. I was married for 8 years then divorced. I met an awesome girl who I have been dating for 2 years now. We live togethers and have gone through some good and bad times as normal. Since Jan. I have been in a tough finacial situation and she has really helped me out. Now I haven't just not had a job in 9 months I had a business that failed but I got a few thousand out of, had a contract job for 2 months, and brought in a little here and there.
However, we have been fighting over my spending habbits which I agree are not good. I have made a few bad decisions and fully regret them but I am also not use to being so frugle, when you make 6 figures a year for 8 years strait then go to nothing it's hard. We have a joint account and I have always operated on what's mine is yours and yours is mine so I used one of her credit cards to gas up the truck while looking for a job and she flipped. So we have been fighting a lot about this well today she made it very clear how hard I have made her life, how big of a disappointment I am, called me a child and then called me a thief. On top of that threatened me saying I used the credit card and that was fraud and she would report me. Seriously what the hell is that? We live together, fixing to buy a house together, and share the bank account.
So what do I do she obviously doesn't respect, trust, or sounds to me like I'm just a big peice of **** so idk what to do. I love her dearly but why would I stay with someone who doesn't respect me?
However, we have been fighting over my spending habbits which I agree are not good. I have made a few bad decisions and fully regret them but I am also not use to being so frugle, when you make 6 figures a year for 8 years strait then go to nothing it's hard. We have a joint account and I have always operated on what's mine is yours and yours is mine so I used one of her credit cards to gas up the truck while looking for a job and she flipped. So we have been fighting a lot about this well today she made it very clear how hard I have made her life, how big of a disappointment I am, called me a child and then called me a thief. On top of that threatened me saying I used the credit card and that was fraud and she would report me. Seriously what the hell is that? We live together, fixing to buy a house together, and share the bank account.
So what do I do she obviously doesn't respect, trust, or sounds to me like I'm just a big peice of **** so idk what to do. I love her dearly but why would I stay with someone who doesn't respect me?
Added by yessirbeenthere (male)
Side 2 says...
So money and problems is right. I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years and we are talking about taking it to the next level. In the next month we will be closing on a house and we already "share" money. My boyfriend is really smart and for whatever reason has had a tough time finding a job. In the mean time, I have supported him by buying him food, paying his rent, putting gas in his vehicle, and even making his car payment. That I can handle. What I cannot handle is his excessive spending on things that he does not need and the way that he justifies it to himself. He is in denial, he blows through all of our money, to a point that we don't have enough to cover bills and end up robbing Peter to pay Paul.
We recently started a business and were able to make a pretty penny off of it, however the money was gone as soon as we got it. We made specific plans on how we were going to spend the money (bills & savings) to ensure we had enough for a down pmt. Instead, he went to poker room and nickel and dimed the rest away. We have fought time and time again. I tell him we have $300 to last us till I get paid and he goes out and spends $700... leaving me nothing and depleting our savings. He cannot stick to a budget and Its incredibly frustrating seeing my savings and my hard earned money spent by someone else on stupid things. "We" never have any money, but he will spend, spend, spend anyways.
Every week it's something new, $900 here, $700 there and that's after all the bills are paid and food is bought. I know he is trying and it's hard to change your lifestyle, but I'm sick of hearing I'm sorry. We are talking thousands of dollars in just a couple of months. We should have more than enough in our account to get us by and not stress. Sorry isn't cutting it anymore, all my efforts are being shut down by someone else and I can't deal. I have threatened to take him off the account so he cannot have access and give him what he needs to survive. He feels this is me not respecting him and frankly I don't care. I say I would respect a man that can admit he has a problem and ask for help. Instead of saying youre sorry do things to prevent the same thing from happening in the future and show me. It seems as soon as one argument passes, he does it again and the next comes on.
He actually told me that he wasn't spending any money and that he had earned some and was going to deposit it in the bank. Come to find out, he had been using my credit card the whole time and spent over $250 dollars with out asking or telling me and he doesn't even think what he did was wrong. So, what is your advice on this one? How would you deal with someone how doesn't learn from their mistakes and justifies their spending, all at your expense?
We recently started a business and were able to make a pretty penny off of it, however the money was gone as soon as we got it. We made specific plans on how we were going to spend the money (bills & savings) to ensure we had enough for a down pmt. Instead, he went to poker room and nickel and dimed the rest away. We have fought time and time again. I tell him we have $300 to last us till I get paid and he goes out and spends $700... leaving me nothing and depleting our savings. He cannot stick to a budget and Its incredibly frustrating seeing my savings and my hard earned money spent by someone else on stupid things. "We" never have any money, but he will spend, spend, spend anyways.
Every week it's something new, $900 here, $700 there and that's after all the bills are paid and food is bought. I know he is trying and it's hard to change your lifestyle, but I'm sick of hearing I'm sorry. We are talking thousands of dollars in just a couple of months. We should have more than enough in our account to get us by and not stress. Sorry isn't cutting it anymore, all my efforts are being shut down by someone else and I can't deal. I have threatened to take him off the account so he cannot have access and give him what he needs to survive. He feels this is me not respecting him and frankly I don't care. I say I would respect a man that can admit he has a problem and ask for help. Instead of saying youre sorry do things to prevent the same thing from happening in the future and show me. It seems as soon as one argument passes, he does it again and the next comes on.
He actually told me that he wasn't spending any money and that he had earned some and was going to deposit it in the bank. Come to find out, he had been using my credit card the whole time and spent over $250 dollars with out asking or telling me and he doesn't even think what he did was wrong. So, what is your advice on this one? How would you deal with someone how doesn't learn from their mistakes and justifies their spending, all at your expense?
Added by sldawson81 (female)
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