My Girlfriend Wants And Has Male Friends
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Side 2
Side 2
Side 1 says...
This is the complaint: shw wants to keep in contact with some past boyfriend(s) and keep in contact with male "friends" by way of verbal contact and texting. She admits that most of these guys wants or have wanted more than a friend and she claims that all they are is just "friends"! What I'm trying to get her to understand is that the level of disrespect has been passed and if I'm your boyfriend then why are they needed! I am married but seperated from my wife for 19 months and when I met my girlfriend we were seperated but still living in the same household and both parties were aware of the circumstancs. She ( girlfriend ) understandably has a problem with me still being married and dosent seem to understand my financial problem with getting a divorce when a child is involved. We had an argument concerning my marital issues and it wasn't good. We ultimately decided to break up and she would move out. While she has been lookin for a place to stay she has still been living with me and I confronted her about a guy who was texting her at night and she lied in so many words about who he was because she actually met him in a department store and he approached her. This all happened b4 we got into it and decieded to break-up and after a few harsh words from her I told her to get her things and get out!
Added by Cowboy1030 (male)
Side 2 says...
My Side
Yes i have a lot of male friends but thats all they are. Contrary to popular beliefs, 2 people of the opposite sex CAN be just friends. Now im not sayn there's not an interest 2 b more than friends; that's usually the initial attraction and motive. But when it is established that i am in a relationship my friends know to respect it or else they are no longer friends at all. My contact w/them is limited 2 texts and phone conversations only!
He is and has been married 4 almost 10yrs! When we met he still wore his ring but told me they were seperated. Maybe mentally but physically they didnt seperate until 6mos later! He had a problem w/me communicating w/my friends when he was still living w/his wife!! It has now been a little more than a year and a half and to my knowledge there has been no moves made 2 even get the divorce started! With that being the case i began to disrespect his demands of no friends and my attention became divided.
Too many times i was reminded that he is still married and the more instances occurred the more disgusted i became w/it. The hard truth was that i would not be the primary/initial point of contact in case of emergency and my well-being would not be a consideration if anything were to happen to him.
He sees the issue to be just over a title and thereby belittles my feelings and the importance of the matter. To me, with that title comes respect and priviledge. And if he's not actively working towards removing that title from her then he has no intentions of bestowing it upon me. So then why should i be 100% to him when he cant or wont reciprocate the same!
Then he takes it too far w/accusations and badmouthing my friends. He had problems w/my friendship w/a mutual friend saying we were getting too close. If he doesnt know the guy then he thinks something either has, is or will be going on between us. And he even has a problem w/my female friends calling them trifling and saying i spend too much time w/them! Yet he is not the attentive and affection type 2 fill in the areas of attention and communication that those other friendships provide me!
Yes i made a new friend and initially lied about it. I am not attempting to justify that, it was simply because i was not happy w/the current situation and was tired of making the personal sacrifice of trying to be a loner and wanted someone to talk to.
Yes i have a lot of male friends but thats all they are. Contrary to popular beliefs, 2 people of the opposite sex CAN be just friends. Now im not sayn there's not an interest 2 b more than friends; that's usually the initial attraction and motive. But when it is established that i am in a relationship my friends know to respect it or else they are no longer friends at all. My contact w/them is limited 2 texts and phone conversations only!
He is and has been married 4 almost 10yrs! When we met he still wore his ring but told me they were seperated. Maybe mentally but physically they didnt seperate until 6mos later! He had a problem w/me communicating w/my friends when he was still living w/his wife!! It has now been a little more than a year and a half and to my knowledge there has been no moves made 2 even get the divorce started! With that being the case i began to disrespect his demands of no friends and my attention became divided.
Too many times i was reminded that he is still married and the more instances occurred the more disgusted i became w/it. The hard truth was that i would not be the primary/initial point of contact in case of emergency and my well-being would not be a consideration if anything were to happen to him.
He sees the issue to be just over a title and thereby belittles my feelings and the importance of the matter. To me, with that title comes respect and priviledge. And if he's not actively working towards removing that title from her then he has no intentions of bestowing it upon me. So then why should i be 100% to him when he cant or wont reciprocate the same!
Then he takes it too far w/accusations and badmouthing my friends. He had problems w/my friendship w/a mutual friend saying we were getting too close. If he doesnt know the guy then he thinks something either has, is or will be going on between us. And he even has a problem w/my female friends calling them trifling and saying i spend too much time w/them! Yet he is not the attentive and affection type 2 fill in the areas of attention and communication that those other friendships provide me!
Yes i made a new friend and initially lied about it. I am not attempting to justify that, it was simply because i was not happy w/the current situation and was tired of making the personal sacrifice of trying to be a loner and wanted someone to talk to.
Added by FeMi (female)
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