On Unwanted Butt-grabbing And Public Slapping

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Side 2
Side 1 says... Dudu and I went to a very big (5000+ people) club party last night; I have a tendency to get hassled by guys in clubs, so when we went to the bathroom, I asked him to wait for me in the hallway between the men and ladies' rooms so I wouldn't have to face the crowd of roaming hands by myself. When I got out of the bathroom, he wasn't there, so I waited, figuring he was still in the men's room. And waited. And waited. After 10 minutes and a couple of comments and looks by smarmy guys, I got worried and uncomfortable, and decided to send him a text message. That's how I found out he'd sent me one just giving me the name of the club room where he was - he hadn't waited for me after all.

I got out of the bathroom and was then seriously butt-molested by a very big nasty guy who took great pleasure in advertising his physical superiority over me. I was so distraught that when we finally found each other, I was really mad at Dudu. His explanation just didn't do it for me, so I walked away to let off steam for a while. When we found each other again, he tried to make peace but I was still angry, and the argument started all over. He got so enraged that he was yelling at me 2 inches from my face and was grabbing my arm and hurting me. He's never been violent in the 3 years we've been together so I got taken aback, and told him that if he didn't stop, I would call security. He just yelled louder and wouldn't let me say a word, and when he screamed at me to shut the f* up I lost it and slapped him in the face.

After stewing for a bit (and considering going to sit in the car until the end of the concert) I finally saw his side of the story, and we made up for a while and tried to have a good time. But then he got mad at me again for having blamed him, and slapped him, and almost 20 hours later, we're still arguing about it!!!

I know we both went overboard, and I admit my share of the blame. I over-reacted to his not waiting for me, and maybe I stayed mad for too long - but I was in shock from being molested, and he didn't make a single effort to apologize and kept saying it wasn't his fault! I wish it hadn't happened the way it did and the evening wasn't ruined, but I still think he was inconsiderate not waiting for me, and shouldn't have gotten so enraged that he yelled at me and hurt my arm (and refused to give me my car keys so I could go take refuge outside). He won't forgive me for my outburst.
Added by MissBoubou (female)
Side 2 says... It's all my fault.
I admit it all and I apologize.

Except for a few stuff.
It was a very big party indeed, and Boubou had been waiting for like 6 months to come with me at one of these. I was aware of that so I really put a great effort into making her the focuse of my attention for the whole evening, although my best friend with whom I share these kind of parties more often was there too (we are both electronic music composers).
So everything was going very well, and then we wen't to the toilets. Only one toilet "zone" for this really huge complex, with an over-crowded queue and a security guard at the entrance to let people get in or not. Boubou got in before me as the guard suddenly let a flow of women enter the toilets, so mens had to wait a little longer before he let new ones in (like 6 mn). Once you passed the guard, you had to wait again in a smaller queue in the men or women toilets, for your turn to access the pee-holes. When it was almost my turn, already 34% drunk, I heard and saw Boubou telling me that we'd meet here (in the toilets hallway, so still inside the toilet zone). So then I finally got dispose of my extra urine, then had to wait again to wash my hands, and wait again to dry them. So when I finally got back to the toilets hallway where we were supposed to meet, quite a little while had gone by, and Boubou wasn't there waiting. I looked around, there was nobody in the hallway, so as I knew she got to access the women toilets before me, I assumed maybe she had gone to wait for me outside, or even that the security guard had told everyone to go wait outside to uncrowd the hallway. So I got out the toilet zone and started to look for Boubou in the outside toilet queue, and then in the near perimeter, and then a little further in case she had just decided to go listen to the music while i finished my pee-business. So I didn't find her and after 15 mn I texted her the name of the room I suggested we meet, as obviously we couldn't find each other : "psy". SHe never answer that sms (I was expecting a confirmation), but after 5 more minutes I went in the "psy" part of the complex, and after 5 more minutes I found her. As soon as I saw her face, I understood that she was pissed and that it wouldn't last 5 mn !
That's where her interpretation of what I had been doing (not caring about her and just gone partying alone) entered the game. I told her that I had been looking for her and she told me that she had been dealing with a fucking asshole who grabbed her ass, and I said it was disgusting and it pissed me up. But I don't think she really considered my version of the story at that point and she continued being pissed at me. I didn't really understand what I had done wrong, so we wen't on arguing for a while, I had the feeling she was mad at me for not waiting for her at the exact spot she wanted me to, but I was really looking for her so I wasn't really up to accept the bad bf that doesn't care accusations. So we did end up yelling at each other like the best morons of the universe, I did yell angrily in her face that she was pushing it too far, trying to remind her that she was about to have her period (lol), and that she was over-reacting. Then she wanted me to give her the keys of the car I drove there, I refused at first because we were very very far from home and I was afraid she was just going to drive off, so she started to try to grab the keys on me by force, so I grabbed her arms in a defensive way just to block her from doing that, so she said she was going going to call security on me ( o_O ), so I told her to shut up because I was clearly not trying to rape her or hurt her, so she slapped me in the face hard enough to knock my glasses out, so I gave her the keys and she dissapeared.


I wonder if anyone read uptil here !

Ok further during the night we made peace, it was cool for a while, and around the end of the night (60% drunk) I had a moment where I started to remember what happened, re-watching the scene of me being slapped in front of everyone in the face, and I started feeling all sad about it... kind of sad and pissed. But I didn't say anything, I just started being a little bit distant, just not talking much, just trying to process what happened (I don't know why my brain made me do that AFTER we made up...).

Next morning we started to talk about it, now I understand better why it took her time to understand that I didn't just MEAN to abandon her there being touched by that simpleton perv bastard, but I can't really agree with her on the fact that I I was wrong to decide to go look for her somewhere else when she wasn't waiting for me when I looked for her in the hallway... which is kind of where everything started, so might make a difference on deciding if I deserved a humiliating slap in the face at the end after all or not ! :)

Thanks for reading, it's incredible !
Monsieur Bubu
Added by Monsieur_Dudu (male)
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