Feeling NEGLECTED IN EVERY WAY! What steps do I take to resolve this BIG PROBLEM?

Wow! I can't believe I'm on this site...It seems like a computer has now become my best friend..Sad!! I say this bc for the past 12 1/2 yrs this is how my marriage has been...the first 2 yrs was great! We dated for 3 yrs b4 we were even married...I am 3 yrs older than he is, and seem to have more energy, very sexual, more passionate, more understanding, better communication skills..He seems to be totally the opposite. He is not a listener, seems to not care about my feelings, he doesn't want to communicate, he is very selfish...ect When he is ready for sex, which is maybe 2 or 3 times a yr, it's all about pleasing himself!! I have been very faithful, very committed to my marriage! I have high values and morals...we have 3 sons, 2 from a previous marriage who are both in college, and 1 biological who is 13...we adopted 3 girls ages 7,8 & 11...They are my world...My children are there for me, they are my strength. We love our children. I am very conservative, so none of our family and friends really know about this hidden problem. I hide behind my smile! I seem to always help others, I am usually the one giving advice, when I am the one who really needs to seek helpful advice...I am NOT HAPPY!! I am Missing out on happiness, excitement, passion, love, friendships, all the enjoyments of life....Bc of this man that I love very much, who seems to continue to damage our marriage, he verbaly abuses me...he just doesn't care, he restrains me from friendships, he even seems to be jealous when I talk about futhering my education and going to college...I have to stay home 24/7...while he does the things he likes to do...such as fishing, hunting....I never get a break....I am under so much stress at times..All I do for my help is pray pray pray...I have tried everything possible through the yrs to help him...he doesn't think he needs help!! So until he admitts he has a problem, then we can't fix this major issue!! I don't know what to do...?? I will admitt, things cross my mind like divorce, or stepping out and making myself happy...hummm Confused a bit... His uglyness (not physical) makes it hard to be attracted to him...

HELP! HELP! PLEASE HELP!!
ADVICE---VERY MUCH NEEDED!!