Is this a deal-breaker or not?
Okay, so I'll give a quick background. My husband and I have been dating for over two years, and got married about a month ago. I'm also about to have his baby (I'm being induced tomorrow).
Here is my problem. Our sex life has been non-existant for a long time now, especially since I have been pregnant, but also before that. He admits that he has no desire to have sex with me because I'm "naggy and lazy" because I'm tired and nauseous all the time, and he just doesn't find that attractive.
Anyways, last night I found out that he has been secretly looking at porn on his i-pod so I wouldn't find out. I think that this was incredibly deceitful. He did it behind my back, knowing that it would hurt me if I found out, yet he did it anyways. He doesn't understand why I'm mad, because he thinks all men look at porn so its okay.
The thing that he is missing is that its not the porn that I have an issue with, its that he is using it to replace me. He is completely insensitive to my feelings, admitting that he might not be attracted to me after the baby is born if I have a flabby tummy or stretch marks, so its hard for me not to have a problem with the porn. I'm his wife, and his sex life should revolve around me, not the women in these photos.
I feel like I have two choices. 1: Live like this, with low self-esteem and a sex-less marriage or 2: leave him. I'm at a cross-roads and I don't want to be unfair to our baby, but I'm miserable. I love him very much but have felt so betrayed by him (not only from this, but other issues as well) that I don't know if our relationship can recover. Even when things are good between us, I am still so hurt by things he has done that I'm not always as nice to him as I should be.
I just need some advice on whether I'm blowing this out of proportion or not, and what I can do to try to fix this if I am.
Here is my problem. Our sex life has been non-existant for a long time now, especially since I have been pregnant, but also before that. He admits that he has no desire to have sex with me because I'm "naggy and lazy" because I'm tired and nauseous all the time, and he just doesn't find that attractive.
Anyways, last night I found out that he has been secretly looking at porn on his i-pod so I wouldn't find out. I think that this was incredibly deceitful. He did it behind my back, knowing that it would hurt me if I found out, yet he did it anyways. He doesn't understand why I'm mad, because he thinks all men look at porn so its okay.
The thing that he is missing is that its not the porn that I have an issue with, its that he is using it to replace me. He is completely insensitive to my feelings, admitting that he might not be attracted to me after the baby is born if I have a flabby tummy or stretch marks, so its hard for me not to have a problem with the porn. I'm his wife, and his sex life should revolve around me, not the women in these photos.
I feel like I have two choices. 1: Live like this, with low self-esteem and a sex-less marriage or 2: leave him. I'm at a cross-roads and I don't want to be unfair to our baby, but I'm miserable. I love him very much but have felt so betrayed by him (not only from this, but other issues as well) that I don't know if our relationship can recover. Even when things are good between us, I am still so hurt by things he has done that I'm not always as nice to him as I should be.
I just need some advice on whether I'm blowing this out of proportion or not, and what I can do to try to fix this if I am.
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