Commitment makes me feel unattractive - makes me feel taken for granted. Is the problem me? or my r/s?

My boyfriend and I started dating long distance and we've been long distance almost a year and now he wants to get married... I have visited and stayed with him for a month during our long distance because I felt like i couldn't give him an answer without atleast having spent some time in the same place and although I feel like I have no problem with being with him, I feel like I never got to have that phase in the relationship when you are dating and "playing the game". And while I thrive on that sort of thing, my boyfriend seems to be happy to skip it to settle into a boring routine - without even going through the fun bit!

Plus I feel like when I visited him, he tried to control me in public and treated me like a wife when to me it felt like we were still just dating.. Domestically we are okay... but socially, in terms of showing a public face.. I think I am not really ready to commit to him in that way...