Can someone with anger management problems be cured?

I think my husband has severe anger problems. He does not see it that way. He yells and cusses at me and sometimes throws things (not at me) or hits things. He does this infront of our 3 year old son. Most recently, he got mad at me and threw our sons scooter right infront of him. I consider this verbal abuse/domestic violence and fear what it is doing psychologically to our son. My husband apologized to our son and bought him a new scooter. He apologized to me too, but did not seem remorseful. I told him that if we don't seek counseling that I am leaving. He has agreed to seek counseling. We are in the process of seeking counseling (it takes them forever to call you back!) and in the mean time he has yelled at me at least twice since then infront of our son...he says that it is my fault. He says that I am the only person that makes him (or has ever made him) act this way. He got a DUI before we met because he got in a fight with his then girlfriend, drove to fast and crashed the car. About a month ago he was told that he would have to leave the bank if he didn't calm down. I try to show him that other things have and do make him angry and that he has and does act inappropriately in other situations, but he does not see them the same and insists that it is me the provokes him to act the way he does. I am not perfect and I do say things sometimes that may make him angry, but honestly half the time I am not even sure why he is so mad. I never cuss at him or yell at him and I definately don't throw things or break things. He makes me feel crazy like it is my fault. Why can't he own up to his own actions.....and, do you think that counseling could change him, make him see how his actions are affecting our marriage and more importantly our son? The other day he said that it was just his personality, as though it was not something that can be changed....if this is the case, I do not want to change.

I have made him out to be a monster....other then this HUGE issue, he is the most amazing man I have ever met. He loves me and our son with all of his heart. He is the best father and he melts my heart when I see them together. He has always been a very hands on father and always very patient with our son. It really seems to just be me that he looses his cool with. He is also a very loyal man, very respectful....makes me feel like a princess (except for when he acts the way I described above). Everyone that meets him loves him and he is a true friend to everyone. He doesn't smoke or do drugs and is a social drinker. He would prefer to spend time with us then to go out and party with the guys....he really is a great man....he just has this nasty side I can't stand. HELP!
By Rolyart 8 years ago :: Marriage
  • Iain A. Morrison
    MA Psych Cert Ed.
    Loving attachment is probably the greatest source of our happiness - I can help if it is going wrong - or manage the hurt if its over $2.00/minute
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  • Robert Betancourt
    MA, Professional Counseling,Therapist
    Emotional Healing-25+ years experience in helping people find solutions that work. "one of the best therapists here" $2.49/minute
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