Im married with a boyfriend and scared to finalize my divorce!

I have been seperated 3 yrs from a man I had been with 10 years and who is a great guy but we got into some business struggles that tore us apart emotionally! Our divorce is pending and almost done, and Im scared reluctant ambivalent etc etc.

I have also been dating the same man throughout my seperation ~ he knows my whole ordeal and is empathetic...he too was going through a divorce when we met and is a huge support (he cheated with a stipper for 3 years on his ex/with a newborn at home/deeply regrets this!!!). He says all guys cheat and screw up and he takes FULL resp. for his horrible behavior.

Over the course of our dating, he has cheated & lied and begged forgiveness...I have to admit, he has met women during times I have called it quits with him, so I take the wrap for some of his actions. He has lied to my face too on other issues. Always promising to never do it again.

My ex never cheated or lied. We work together everyday in a business we started and grew and agreed to continue growing as it was too damaging not to forge ahead with what we built for so many years. So he's never been out of my life and Ive always had respect for him.

However, I have very little respect for my boyfriend and my feelings have slowly dwindled through his lies and deciept. His apologies hook me, his pleadings are almost childlike and he hasnt followed through on most of them. He wants to get married and says "im in love with you" daily...asks me to move in with him and wants to spend every waking hour together. I am having strong gut feelings that he is full of sh-- and wonder if I should go back to my stable predictable ex, who I trust and respect. Or should I forgive and forge ahead with someone I have chemistry and fun with.

PS. My ex asked me to go to Aruba with him last week and texted me on our wedding anniversary during this trip that our wedding day was one of the best days of his life.
By gulfcoast 10 years ago :: Marriage
  • Rafael Morales
    MA-MS, MHT-MHRS
    I have extensive training and expertise in clinical, counseling, transpersonal/integral psychology and coaching. I provide support to those willing to work on themselves… $2.75/minute
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    MA Psych Cert Ed.
    Loving attachment is probably the greatest source of our happiness - I can help if it is going wrong - or manage the hurt if its over $2.00/minute
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