Should I let my Husbands Best Friend Know whats going on????
My husband and I are coming up on our first year of marriage and his best friend and my long time close friend was our Best Man in our wedding. Our Best man- lets call him "Jim" - brought his girlfriend- Lets call her "Lee"- to our wedding because we have all been pretty close. However, my husband has been closer to Lee than I have.
Recently I discovered emails that are very inappropriate that my husband has been sending to Lee. I knew they have always been friends and they would regularly talk on the phone, text, and email each other, but I never thought anything about it because Lee is Jim's long time girlfriend and Jim and my husband have been Best Friends for a long time.
The emails I found stated how much she means to him and that he can not wait to see her again, and wants to kiss her and make out with her, and a bunch more. Jim and Lee live out of state so we don't see them but maybe 1 or 2 times a year so this is why they are always talking.
I was upset and I confronted my husband about it and told him to not talk to her any more. I told him I wouldn't tell Jim. but he must not email, text, or talk to Lee again- only to tell her what is going on. He also had photos of her in his phone and told her that every time he looks at her photo it turns him on. I told him to delete the photos, but he didn't so I did one day while he was taking a shower.
Well.... A few days ago I started to feel bad because I was keeping him from talking to his friend, but then I found another email account he created and was emailing only her from it. I wasn't snooping- he was stupid and left it open. So I confronted him again. This time I emailed Lee about it too, telling her to not expect any more phone calls, texts, or emails from my husband. I also told her that I was disappointed in her that she was allowing this to happen. I also mentioned that I don't know if I should tell Jim or not and if I do I'd hurt 2 relationships, Jim and my husband, and Jim and Lee's.
When Lee wrote back she said that I didn't understand the situation and I never would, and that her and Jim have a great relationship and has no reason to not trust her......
My question.....What do I do, should I let Jim know or just let it go on? I feel like he should know, but this is a 3 way thing right now if he is not involved. But why should he be kept in the dark? Thanks for any advice.
P.S. My husband and I are working on our relationship and things will get better. They are starting to but the hurt is still there.
Recently I discovered emails that are very inappropriate that my husband has been sending to Lee. I knew they have always been friends and they would regularly talk on the phone, text, and email each other, but I never thought anything about it because Lee is Jim's long time girlfriend and Jim and my husband have been Best Friends for a long time.
The emails I found stated how much she means to him and that he can not wait to see her again, and wants to kiss her and make out with her, and a bunch more. Jim and Lee live out of state so we don't see them but maybe 1 or 2 times a year so this is why they are always talking.
I was upset and I confronted my husband about it and told him to not talk to her any more. I told him I wouldn't tell Jim. but he must not email, text, or talk to Lee again- only to tell her what is going on. He also had photos of her in his phone and told her that every time he looks at her photo it turns him on. I told him to delete the photos, but he didn't so I did one day while he was taking a shower.
Well.... A few days ago I started to feel bad because I was keeping him from talking to his friend, but then I found another email account he created and was emailing only her from it. I wasn't snooping- he was stupid and left it open. So I confronted him again. This time I emailed Lee about it too, telling her to not expect any more phone calls, texts, or emails from my husband. I also told her that I was disappointed in her that she was allowing this to happen. I also mentioned that I don't know if I should tell Jim or not and if I do I'd hurt 2 relationships, Jim and my husband, and Jim and Lee's.
When Lee wrote back she said that I didn't understand the situation and I never would, and that her and Jim have a great relationship and has no reason to not trust her......
My question.....What do I do, should I let Jim know or just let it go on? I feel like he should know, but this is a 3 way thing right now if he is not involved. But why should he be kept in the dark? Thanks for any advice.
P.S. My husband and I are working on our relationship and things will get better. They are starting to but the hurt is still there.
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