Am I expecting too much of him, or is he taking advantage of me?

My husband and I have been married 5 years. We have a 2 yr old, and another kid on the way. I work a part time job (about 30 hrs) early in the morning and am about 6 months pregnant. He works full time late at night.

I've been trying hard to keep our place clean, but the further I get along in my pregnancy, the harder it is to handle. For about 4 months, he's slowly been putting things off; not taking the trash out to the curb, avoiding bills, not helping me clean up, only to watch tv or play video games when he comes home or has a day off. When I ask for help on something, he says he'll get to it, but even then he puts it off for days or weeks. He only helps if he sees me trying to do it instead, then yells at me for doing things I'm not supposed to.

He used to help me out all the time; an equal split on chores and cleaning. Lately he's been shoving them all off on me and getting mad if I ask why he doesn't help me, saying he's too tired from work and that since I work less, I should do more. I've been told I have hypertension and need to watch how much I do as well as my stress level, but its hard to do when I come home and find things destroyed and him on the couch with our kid tearing thru the house.

His mother used to baby him terribly. I'm starting to think that since I'M now "mom", he expects me to be like his mother and take care of everything without help. My family was never like this; everyone did their own equal share. It really hurts my feelings that he's acting this way towards me, and even more that he refuses to talk about it without turning blame around on me.
By Gadget_girl 15 years ago :: Marriage
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