Am I Supportive?
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Side 2
Side 2
Side 1 says...
So after two kids in close succession my partner (who is a brilliant mother and home maker) has decided to go back into education a day a week and defer any more kids for 2 years. I am paying for child care, working that day from home, paying her fees, and okay with doing whatever it takes to make her succeed in her course. However, she wants me to say I think she is doing the right thing even though I am deeply against it - it defers my opportunity to have a bigger family (which is the only thing I care about) and will generally add to stress levels with the amount of work she'll have to do etc.
She says I am "unsupportive" because I won't add my moral support for a bad decision. I am not moody about doing my duties or picking up the tab - I just won't say a bad idea is a good one. Being called unsupportive really gets my goat when I am working all the hours god sends and deferring my own non-commercial ambitions to pay for everything all in the hope of having a big family. In short do I need to believe the cause I am supporting is a good idea in order to be called supportive?
She says I am "unsupportive" because I won't add my moral support for a bad decision. I am not moody about doing my duties or picking up the tab - I just won't say a bad idea is a good one. Being called unsupportive really gets my goat when I am working all the hours god sends and deferring my own non-commercial ambitions to pay for everything all in the hope of having a big family. In short do I need to believe the cause I am supporting is a good idea in order to be called supportive?
Added by wantkids (male)
Side 2 says...
Well, I'm not very good at putting my point across in writing so here goes.
I feel after having two children 16 months apart was initially really hard work. As a couple and new parents we worked our way through a number of emotional issue. 3 years on from the birth of our first child I finally feel like I can get the old me back. The spring in my step and the love of life that i get from achieving challenges and goals I set for myself. I have lost my confidence in regards to going back to work and feel I have lost touch with my colleagues and my professional career. As a practitioner, you have to keep your hand in treating patients; if you don't you end up where I am...a little lost. My wanting to go back to education is a stepping stone to going back to work part time. I too would love a large family; we currently have two great kids and a more than comfortable life. But..3 children under 3 is not for me right now. I would like to back into the world of work, find my confidence again and later continue our family.
My partner has made appoint about paying child care which i would expect him to do, seeing as he is the sole earner. Paying for my fees which he does not have to! And as for working a day at home.. he owns his own company and thus I thought this was not a big deal to rearrange a day at home with a full time nanny taking care of our kids.
We have always agreed that I am happy to do the mummy at home bit while he goes to work. I I still am. I don't think it's too much to ask for the full support of my partner. I have openly tried to encourage my partner to embraces the more creative side of himself so that he does not feel like it's all work work work. I am really chilled out about lad's nights out and him having time to himself, as long as the kids are sorted out. I am asking for the same flexibility. A child is a huge responsibility, if we had another child now I think i would end up feeling regretful at the loss of my career after spending 5 long and hard years studying to get it.
I feel after having two children 16 months apart was initially really hard work. As a couple and new parents we worked our way through a number of emotional issue. 3 years on from the birth of our first child I finally feel like I can get the old me back. The spring in my step and the love of life that i get from achieving challenges and goals I set for myself. I have lost my confidence in regards to going back to work and feel I have lost touch with my colleagues and my professional career. As a practitioner, you have to keep your hand in treating patients; if you don't you end up where I am...a little lost. My wanting to go back to education is a stepping stone to going back to work part time. I too would love a large family; we currently have two great kids and a more than comfortable life. But..3 children under 3 is not for me right now. I would like to back into the world of work, find my confidence again and later continue our family.
My partner has made appoint about paying child care which i would expect him to do, seeing as he is the sole earner. Paying for my fees which he does not have to! And as for working a day at home.. he owns his own company and thus I thought this was not a big deal to rearrange a day at home with a full time nanny taking care of our kids.
We have always agreed that I am happy to do the mummy at home bit while he goes to work. I I still am. I don't think it's too much to ask for the full support of my partner. I have openly tried to encourage my partner to embraces the more creative side of himself so that he does not feel like it's all work work work. I am really chilled out about lad's nights out and him having time to himself, as long as the kids are sorted out. I am asking for the same flexibility. A child is a huge responsibility, if we had another child now I think i would end up feeling regretful at the loss of my career after spending 5 long and hard years studying to get it.
Added by daisy (female)
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