How can you cheat on someone who has vanished without a trace?

My husband is driving me nuts with this. We were in our dating stage. We'd known each other for a little over a year. We decided at the beginning of November of 04 that we would be a couple. My husband is 9 years and a few months younger than me. Towards the middle of November he just stopped calling. I would call him and call him. He would sometimes answer and say he would call me back but never did. When I did call him back he would talk for a second and then say he'd call me back. During this time he was living with his twin male friends who love to club and drink. Sometimes I would block my number and when he answered their was club music and noise in the background. Finally I made up in my mind that he was playing games and maybe changed his mind about being a couple. I gave up and stopped calling. My ex called one day and asked could he come over and talk to me. I said yes and we talked about his problems and mine. One thing led to another and we slept together. We both knew that we weren't going to get back together it just happened. Weeks passed now it was way past Christmas. He decided to call and say he's been in trouble and had to go to court. He said he was afraid he would go to jail so he stoped calling me. He came over and tried to explain himself but I didn't really believe him. He says he was depressed because he thought he was going to jail. How can you be depressed and clubbing every weekend? We officially moved in together in January of 05. He proposed to me in February of 05. I went ahead and told him what happened with my ex. I didn't want to enter a marriage with secrets.He got mad and asked how could I cheat on him? I told him that it was his fault. He should of talked to me instead of giving me the cold shoulder! I thought that he didn't want to be a couple but didn't know how to say it being that he was so much younger than me.I still to this day believe that something more went on with him. I know he will never admit it. At least I was honest with him about my ex. I very well could of kept it a secret. How would he of known? We are now married and have been since 05 but every now and then he will bring it up. If someone he knows mate cheats he will bring it back up. Everyone that I explain this to say that it was like we weren't even together. You don't leave your girlfriend alone without so much as a phone call for weeks! Not if you are serious about her. What do you guys think? I will be letting him read this post. Thanks...